23:06

THE SIMPSONS - PART 1: GOD.mp3

02/26/2021
Homer
00:17:45 You see, there are some cry babies out there. Religious type mostly, who might be offended.
Devon
00:00:19 Even before The Simpsons became its own show, when it was just a poorly drawn cartoon used as filler during the Tracey Ullman Show.
00:00:29 The Simpsons were still setting the tone.
00:00:32 For what was to come.
Bart
00:00:34 Mom. Dad, look, we're fighting.
Devon
00:00:37 Christianity is old and outdated and uncool, but in these early episodes that could be seen as.
00:00:44 Just, you know, kids just.
00:00:46 Being kids, that's only a sentiment that these unruly children have Homer and Marge, like most Americans at the time, they they still attend church.
00:00:56 Even if they have to drag their kids kicking and screaming because church was so uncool, that's something that children were picking up from their parents.
Marge
00:01:05 Let's go.
Homer
00:01:06 Homer, but you don't understand. Marge, I have 50 bucks riding on this game.
Devon
00:01:11 Way before The Simpsons, the boomer generation had already gone through a anti Christian propaganda ringer for decades, and they themselves seem to have internalized.
00:01:21 That attending church was just out of some kind of obligation to the past.
Marge
00:01:26 Why should I feel like a traffic cop every Sunday morning? I'm just trying to get a little goodness into the fame point.
Homer
00:01:33 Where is it the game? Where is it?
Devon
00:01:37 An obligation that seemed increasingly less important as time went by, especially as church began to have to compete with all of the luxuries and entertainment available to the richest and most decadent generation the world had.
00:01:52 For known.
Marge
00:01:53 I can't believe you're giving up church, Homer.
Homer
00:01:56 Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't God everywhere, brother? And don't you think that the Almighty has better things to worry about than when one little guy spends 1 measly hour of?
00:02:07 His week.
Devon
00:02:07 Tell it, daddy.
Homer
00:02:08 And what if we?
00:02:09 Picked the wrong religion every week. We're just making God matter and matter.
Devon
00:02:14 When The Simpsons attacks Christianity, as it does many aspects of Western culture, they often speak directly of these temptations of of entertainment.
00:02:27 But the writers also skillfully address that lingering.
00:02:31 That other thing that kept this generation going to church.
00:02:35 The fear of going to hell.
Simpson's God
00:02:40 Thou hast forsaken my church.
00:02:43 Well, kind of. I'm not a bad guy. I work hard and I love my kids, so why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell?
00:02:56 Hmm, you've got a point.
00:02:59 You know, sometimes even I'd rather be watching football. Does Saint Louis still have a team?
Homer
00:03:05 And I moved to Phoenix.
00:03:07 You know what I really hate about church? Those boring sermons.
Simpson's God
00:03:12 Ah, I couldn't agree more that Reverend Lovejoy really displeases me. I think I'll give him a canker sore.
Homer
00:03:19 Give them one for me.
00:03:21 I will so I figure I should just try to live right and worship you in.
Simpson's God
00:03:25 My own way.
00:03:27 Homer, it's a deal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to appear in a tortilla in Mexico.
Devon
00:03:32 But you see, even God is fine with you.
00:03:35 Not going to church.
00:03:37 We shouldn't have communities.
00:03:39 We should.
00:03:39 All be these.
00:03:40 Floating atoms in.
00:03:41 Space doing our own thing with our own version of morality, moral relativism.
00:03:48 No connection to anything or anyone else.
00:03:52 All defining good and evil.
00:03:55 For ourselves.
00:03:56 Boy time really flies when you read.
00:03:59 The Bible.
00:04:01 That's right, kids and grown-ups alike. The Bible is gross. Nothing good ever came from the.
Flanders
00:04:07 Bible. Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful school day.
Science Guy
00:04:12 Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord. That sounded like a prayer, a prayer.
Newscaster
00:04:17 A prayer in.
Science Guy
00:04:18 A public school.
00:04:20 God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place with an organized religion.
Devon
00:04:26 Facts have no place in organized religion. You see, as this Jewish character, one of many in The Simpsons explains, we have evolved past that religion. It's just a lie.
Simpson's God
00:04:38 Get a divorce. But isn't that a sin mark? Just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom.
Devon
00:04:49 A silly, ridiculous lie. Even the clergy thinks so.
Homer
00:04:53 If the Bible is taught us nothing else.
00:04:56 It hasn't. It's that girls should stick to girls sports such as hot oil wrestling.
Devon
00:05:01 But actually it's worse than just lies. It's hateful lies, hateful lies that promote things like sexism and homophobia.
Flanders
00:05:12 Do you reject Satan and all his empty promises?
Devon
00:05:16 That's why Homer is willing to do whatever it takes to keep it from his children.
00:05:20 But it doesn't.
00:05:21 Matter if we mock religious traditions and blasphemy and imaginary God.
00:05:27 After all, God is faken.
00:05:28 And so is the existence of a soul.
00:05:31 Soul. Come on. No house there.
00:05:33 Is no such thing as a.
00:05:34 Soul what religion are?
Homer
00:05:35 Nope. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, Christianity.
Devon
00:05:43 Just a bunch of meaningless rules.
Marge
00:05:46 For the Lord only asks for an hour a week.
Homer
00:05:49 In that case, you should have made a week, an hour longer.
00:05:52 Was he good?
Devon
00:05:53 Remember and you will, because that's how repetition works.
00:05:57 It's OK to blasphemy.
00:05:59 God over and over and over on prime time television.
00:06:04 God is still in your face.
Homer
00:06:06 Yeah, he's my favorite fictional character.
Devon
00:06:09 Because over and over.
00:06:12 He's not real.
Simpson's God
00:06:14 Wait, I'm no missionary. I don't even believe in Jesus.
Devon
00:06:18 And you know.
00:06:19 That that's why you're going to tune in again next week.
Science Guy
00:06:22 We taught them some English and ridiculed away most of their beliefs.
Devon
00:06:26 So you can take it.
00:06:27 From there, bye.
00:06:28 Ridicule away most of their beliefs.
00:06:33 I can't think of a better phrase that describes what Hollywood aimed to do.
00:06:36 With Christians in the 90s.
00:06:38 Nearly everything that's come out of Hollywood for the last 30 or 40 years has attacked Christianity.
00:06:45 And yet, American Christians, time after time, line up around the block waiting for tickets.
Homer
00:06:52 Son, it turns like this. I just look at my bracelet.
Devon
00:06:56 Good point, dad. What would Jesus do?
Homer
00:06:58 Jesus, I thought it was Geppetto.
00:07:02 I wish God were alive to see this.
Devon
00:07:05 The message is loud and.
00:07:06 Clear God is.
00:07:07 Dead and it's fun.
00:07:08 Me the dance on his grave.
Homer
00:07:11 I've come to hate my own creation. Now I know how God feels. I'll build you a new tree house when so grand, it'll be an affront to God himself.
Devon
00:07:20 Can I have a rope ladder? You can.
00:07:22 Pull up after you.
Homer
00:07:23 Only if it's an affront to God. It would have been a lot worse if I hadn't been carrying this Bible in my crutch.
Flanders
00:07:29 I'm dying.
00:07:30 And there's heaven. But who's that? Confucius and Milton Berle boy. Have I been barking up the wrong tree.
Devon
00:07:39 Well, I guess Jews still go to heaven.
Simpson's God
00:07:43 Meet Maggie Simpson, IQ 167.
Devon
00:07:47 167 that's amazing for a Christian.
00:07:51 But that's OK, because Christians are too stupid to get that night after night. They are the joke.
Homer
00:07:58 And when I feel weak, I will draw strength from the Bible.
Devon
00:08:08 They will TuneIn every week and laugh.
Homer
00:08:10 Hey, anything's possible with a little help from my Bible.
Simpson's God
00:08:16 Ohh no, it's a real one, no?
Devon
00:08:20 As we insult them to their faces.
00:08:24 And I put my faith in science and technology.
Homer
00:08:30 Oh, why did I choose to be gay?
Devon
00:08:32 As we make fun of them, destroy.
00:08:34 Their faith.
Homer
00:08:35 Hey Moses, are you a loser? So you're Homer.
Devon
00:08:39 They laugh and buy our T-shirts and all the other.
00:08:42 Crap. We sell them.
Homer
00:08:43 I coveted the wife and joys too. I lied to a waiter. I *********** 8 billion times and I have no plans to stop ************ in the future.
00:08:50 Ohh, I'm clean in your face Lord.
Devon
00:08:53 They eat it.
00:08:53 Up and go to bed.
00:08:55 When the smile on their face.
Flanders
00:09:00 Oh no. Saints had such fat heads.
00:09:02 It's all a big scam. There's both no religion in general.
Simpson's God
00:09:05 And you've got to take this thing with a grain of salt. I mean, come on.
Devon
00:09:10 So does this theory of evolution necessarily mean that there is no God?
Science Guy
00:09:15 Of course not.
00:09:17 It just says that God is an impotent nothing from nowhere with less power than the Under Secretary of Agriculture, who has very little power in our system. It's a high I.
Marge
00:09:27 Hate being white?
Homer
00:09:29 I hate.
00:09:29 Going, why can't I worship the Lord in my own way? By praying like hell on my deathbed?
00:09:36 Relax. Those pious morons are too busy talking to their phony baloney God.
00:09:41 Peace be with you. Praise jeepers.
Simpson's God
00:09:44 Facebook doesn't have any.
Homer
00:09:45 Answers man that church service was so boring. Well, you make.
00:09:49 People miserable and there's nothing they can do.
00:09:52 Just like God, I guess I'm more powerful than God now.
Devon
00:09:58 Trick or treat isn't just some phrase you can't mindlessly like the Lord's Prayer.
Newscaster
00:10:02 America has a tradition of turning outlaws into legends after their deaths. Billy the Kid, Bonnie and Clyde, Jesus Christ.
Devon
00:10:09 Martin was like Jesus only real.
00:10:13 Jesus Junior's gonna set us all.
Flanders
00:10:15 Straight look, Homer, people don't come back as anything except for our Lord who came back as bread.
Homer
00:10:20 I know parts of our marriage are based on lies, but so are a lot of good things. Religion. It is me, Jesus. Under the watchful eyes of God.
00:10:30 And I'll be watching you too. In case God's busy making tornadoes or not existing.
Devon
00:10:35 If you're happy and you know it, that's a sin.
Some jewish guy
00:10:38 Who would you blush? You. The same. Schmuck. What? The New Testament. I can't talk to you. You talk to my niece to read. Don't read. Talk to the.
Some jewish girl
00:10:46 Stupids Shalom gym.
Simpson's God
00:10:48 What are you?
Devon
00:10:48 Up to reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God.
Homer
00:10:51 Created a devil. Finally he did something cool.
Marge
00:10:54 We're visiting grandpa.
Homer
00:10:56 No fair. We just went to church.
Devon
00:10:58 Yes, we've already heard stories from thousands of years ago about stuff that didn't happen. Hey, it's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it. But you're God. Couldn't you make everything the.
Marge
00:11:08 It was.
Simpson's God
00:11:09 Well, I could, but the big man downstairs wouldn't like it.
Flanders
00:11:17 Get me a coffee.
Simpson's God
00:11:19 Yes, Sir.
Homer
00:11:20 Hell, Flanders, more deer than Jesus no more.
Flanders
00:11:24 Church Harry mode ghost.
00:11:26 There is no God, Nettie. It's just an empty, meaningless void.
Homer
00:11:30 And that's why I really don't believe there's a God.
Flanders
00:11:33 Where's my God?
Homer
00:11:34 Now God, what is it? I'm paying you for every Sunday.
Flanders
00:11:39 How long has it been since we prayed?
00:11:40 Together, neighbor.
Homer
00:11:41 This is praying. Let me outta here.
Marge
00:11:44 Are you saying I'm wasting my time?
Homer
00:11:46 No, I'm saying you're wasting everyone's time. But it's a church thing. So that's a given.
Simpson's God
00:11:52 Huh. Bad news, people. Our religion is not true. Sorry about that.
Homer
00:11:58 How do you stay so happy and don't say Jesus?
Simpson's God
00:12:02 Merry Christmas, son.
Science Guy
00:12:04 Uh, don't you mean happy birthday?
Simpson's God
00:12:07 It's two presents.
Devon
00:12:09 Walkie talkies don't count as two presents, God.
Speaker 10
00:12:13 I mean you.
Devon
00:12:20 Idiot. Stupid church. Why would Jesus want us to waste our weekend on extra boring? No recess. Dress up school.
Homer
00:12:27 Exactly. God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them.
Speaker 10
00:12:33 Come on, guys, give it back.
Simpson's God
00:12:36 Ohh forgive them father.
00:12:39 I raised a worse.
Flanders
00:12:42 God is in everything. He's omnipresent.
Homer
00:12:45 You mean if I check into the Omni hotel right now he's there?
Flanders
00:12:48 As a matter of fact, he is.
Homer
00:12:50 And from now on, we're staying at the Hyatt Regency.
Devon
00:12:52 The Simpsons are one of the most popular families in.
Homer
00:12:55 The world, they knew it.
Simpson's God
00:12:57 In your face Jesus family.
Bart
00:12:59 It's Yiddish, the language of our focaccia. People. Mom raised me Christian, Christian for business, Sixer.
Simpson's God
00:13:09 Maybe I could teach SAT prep. At least there are answers in the back of that book.
Bart
00:13:18 Look, this game is, or at least was bigger than Jesus, OK?
Simpson's God
00:13:23 It's a pretty low bar these days.
Science Guy
00:13:25 This sad wino doesn't look like you're God.
Marge
00:13:29 I as land.
Aslan
00:13:31 Marge, my child, I've come to offer solace in this difficult time.
Marge
00:13:36 You mean convert me to your religion when I'm at my most vulnerable?
Aslan
00:13:40 No, no, no, no.
00:13:41 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just here to ask you an important question.
00:13:46 Have you heard the news?
Marge
00:13:48 Yes, yes, I will be saved. Thanks so much for stopping by.
Aslan
00:13:52 I'm just going to leave you with this literature.
Devon
00:13:55 What if after we die, that's it. We're just gone.
Flanders
00:14:01 So just ****, really **** and then just super nothing. Now make a decision to turn your life to God, God.
Marge
00:14:10 I lit these for our son.
Homer
00:14:12 Much honey. He's never gonna come back if he thinks it's a church.
00:14:17 Large it's worse than we thought. He's speaking in tongues. He's a religious weirdo. The worst thing there is.
Devon
00:14:23 There is a God and his name is the devil.
Homer
00:14:27 Thank you for this Christian Oscar. And I'd like to thank the Academy of Arts and Anti Sciences.
00:14:33 And let me just ask this is it possible any other religious beliefs are founded on myths?
Simpson's God
00:14:38 This interview is over.
Devon
00:14:40 And after 30 years of successfully socially engineering the West to throw away the idea of God and promoting atheism.
00:14:49 What if the public feels empty?
00:14:52 No problem. As it turns out, atheists go to heaven too.
Speaker 10
00:14:56 Talking about people who don't believe in God but are still righteous, I'm talking about atheist Lord.
Simpson's God
00:15:03 Atheists have refused to believe they exist.
Speaker 10
00:15:06 Well, they do. Maybe they deserve a place here too.
Devon
00:15:09 It's not just the Buddhists and the Jews.
Simpson's God
00:15:11 All right, I agree. We will open heaven to the deserving atheists.
00:15:16 Hmm. If we've learned anything from these three tangentially related stories, it's that there are many paths to heaven.
Speaker 10
00:15:23 Maybe we should let everybody in.
Simpson's God
00:15:25 Great idea. I'd agree that all with good souls are welcome in heaven, now and forever.
Devon
00:15:33 In fact, in the last few years.
00:15:35 Of The Simpsons have been on the air. They.
00:15:36 Seem to have been.
00:15:37 Trying to drive the final nail into God's proverbial coffin.
Homer
00:15:43 Hey, Marge, I could go for some Donuts.
00:15:48 I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
00:15:52 Holy crap.
00:15:56 They never had faith in God or family, but I had faith in television. Ooh, this place looks interesting.
Devon
00:16:03 Dad, no, that's an actual church.
Aslan
00:16:07 The church will not be cancelled.
Devon
00:16:12 Please God from.
00:16:15 Episode after episode has been focused.
00:16:18 On this idea of moral relativism.
Marge
00:16:21 Sweetie, prayer doesn't have to be to God. It can also just be an honest conversation we have with ourselves. Just do what your heart tells you.
Devon
00:16:31 This idea that every.
00:16:32 Morality, except for Christian morality, of course, is good morality.
00:16:38 It's a replacement for God.
Lisa
00:16:40 A love that isn't mad at us for our doubt or angry at us because we're Alcoholics.
Simpson's God
00:16:46 Finally recognized for my accomplishment.
Lisa
00:16:51 I think so many of us have made a God that's like us instead of the other way around. God loves diversity. God didn't just make one type of flower. He made thousands of different flowers, roses, lilies, orchids, and he made the weeds too. But he loves all of them indiscriminately, just like the.
Flanders
00:17:06 You have made this bumblebee a humblebee.
Lisa
00:17:10 Jesus said let the weeds grow with the wheat. That means it's all in the game. Go easy on yourself. You don't have to earn God's love. You are God's love.
Devon
00:17:19 And now, after three decades of relentlessly undermining.
00:17:24 They don't need to mask it in humor.
00:17:27 They just tell the cattle outright. The Simpsons dedicated entire episodes to this idea while still keeping up the constant hammering at Christianity and going to church to find answers.
00:17:39 You're a vegetarian. What about evolution? Gay rights?
Lisa
00:17:42 Into it.
00:17:43 Love is.
Devon
00:17:43 Love. Unless of course, that church is the same kind of globalist Unitarian trans kids supporting church.
00:17:50 That promotes moral relativism.
Lisa
00:17:52 Look, God is the love. The yes, that set the universe in motion. He or she for.
Devon
00:17:59 Over 30 years, the message was the.
00:18:02 You don't have to have standards or morality.
00:18:06 You just have to be yourself.
00:18:09 Embrace diversity.
00:18:11 You see, God, if he or she is even real.
00:18:16 He or she will let.
00:18:18 Everyone into heaven.
00:18:18 Anyway, if there is a heaven.
00:18:21 Guess what, mom? I'm a cruciverbalist.
Marge
00:18:24 Another religion, you know, you're just gonna drop the whole thing when you go to college and get a Jewish boyfriend? Probably.
Devon
00:18:32 And certainly if you watch The Simpsons.
00:18:35 You have to agree, right?
00:18:38 Certainly, if you believed in God, then you wouldn't tolerate all this blasphemy night after night, week after.
00:18:45 Week. Clearly you can't.
00:18:48 Take God seriously.
00:18:51 If you conveniently overlook the repeated attacks on your sacred beliefs.
00:18:56 And trade for some ha ha funny tie.
00:18:59 You cannot tell me.
00:19:01 You believe in God.
00:19:03 Because if you did.
00:19:06 If you did believe in God.
00:19:09 If you believed in God.
00:19:11 And you decided to just sit there?
00:19:15 And not just ignore the insults.
00:19:19 Hurled at him.
00:19:21 But to join in.
00:19:24 On the fun.
00:19:26 So you can have your haha. Funnies.
00:19:31 What kind of man would that make you? Clearly you can't believe in God.
00:19:37 Because what would that say about?
00:19:38 You if you did.
00:19:42 Think about that.
00:19:45 If you really believed in God.
00:19:48 And week after week.
00:19:50 Night after night.
00:19:53 You laugh, or even just look the other way.
00:19:59 How is that any different?
00:20:02 Then a coward just standing there ******* his pants.
00:20:06 As another man.
00:20:09 Threatens and insults your wife.
00:20:14 To her face, right next to you.
00:20:17 Because you're too much of A *****.
00:20:19 The defender. You're so conflict avoidant. Not only do you not defender, you actually start to laugh at the insults this man is hurling at your wife so he knows you're on his side, so he knows you don't pose a threat. That's how much of a ******* ***** you'd have to be.
00:20:40 Worse than that, because God comes before your spouse, you would have to be lower than that. You would have to be solo, sure.
00:20:49 You can't possibly believe in God. You can't be that disgusting. That feeble, that pathetic.
Flanders
00:21:02 Are you?
Devon
00:21:08 Or did The Simpsons just?
00:21:10 Finally, get what they wanted after 30 ******* years.
00:21:15 Making you feel uncomfortable at first.
00:21:19 But because you are too scared.
00:21:22 Do not laugh at the jokes.
00:21:27 Written by gay Jews and pedophiles in Hollywood.
00:21:32 That insulted your God.
00:21:35 You were too scared.
00:21:38 Not just to say something, but to not laugh.
00:21:46 You'd rather have the acceptance of pedophiles.
00:21:50 Then stand up in service of your God.
00:21:55 Until little by little.
00:21:58 There was only one way.
00:22:00 To avoid the shame.
00:22:03 Of that level of cowardice.
00:22:06 Now is to stop believing in God.
00:22:08 In your heart.
00:22:11 Because if you did.
00:22:14 If you did believe in him.
00:22:19 And you still not only.
00:22:20 Allowed this to go on.
00:22:24 Not only allowed this to go on.
00:22:28 But you joined in the fun.
00:22:30 So pedophiles would think you were cool.
00:22:35 What kind of man would you be then?
00:22:42 For black pill.
00:22:45 I'm Devin stack.